My grandmother died at age 70 today of lung cancer and pneumonia a few
minutes after 4pm.

I can't go to the funeral. Grandmother asked my mom to make sure my
sister and I do not miss any school. My mother won't let my sister or
me go because she promised.

Its hard. I skipped school today because my mother told me the doctors
said Grandma had 24 hours to live. I got to my mom's house at 3, and
we got the call at 4. So much for 24 hours.

My mother had a flight booked for 8am tomorrow morning. She will never
see her mother alive again. She thought she had time. Even if she had
caught the next flight (after the 1st phone call) at 2, she still
would not have been there in time to see her mom one last time. There
was nothing she could do. Its painful.

I hate seeing my mother so sad, she in an anchor in my life. Losing
Grandmother is painful enough, but seeing my mother weakened and
crying is unbearable. All I can do is think "what if it was my mother
that died? could i be as strong as i would need to be? would i make
it?"

The one "positive" thing out of all of this: This morning Grandmother
wasn't feeling any pain at all, she was near the end and accepting her
death. Grandmother went in her sleep. Her breathing slowed down until
she wasn't breathing anymore. There was no struggle, her eyes were
closed and when she took her last breath her face was completely
relaxed: she had let go of this world and moved on into the next.

I guess all i need is someone to talk to, or in this case rant at.

Thanks for letting me get it off my shoulders, i feel a lot better now.